Don't look & 13 seconds

I like a good, creative list of this and that, but when it comes to something as personal and universal as driving, I think it best that I, instead, share my 'observations'. Although I could then slip right into a long 'list' of observations, I'm also going to avoid that approach and see if I can hone today's part two of the driving theme to just two, maybe three important tips for safer, better driving that can be adopted with little or no fanfare at all. Yes, you can choose to see the validity of these tidbits, make them your own, and you'll never have to admit you didn't think of them yourself. Do pass along the info somehow, though, because these are good, and they can really, really make a difference.

Don't look at me.
I'm a passenger in your car. I could be friend, family, DMV inspector, what-or whoever, and I'm in your passenger seat for a few minutes or a few hours, ippso facto, I ain't going nowhere until you get us wherever we're going. What's important in this situation? Well, you need to get us to our destination in one piece, you need to watch the road, react, curse the idiot who just did any one of a thousand moves that are dangerous, so...don't look at me.

We've all done it, and we see it by glancing at the multiple boxed stage shows manuevering all around us on the road: animated conversations between two people, energetic nods of comprehension, wide open eyes and motoring mouths, and the driver's head moving with peppy regularity from eyes-ahead, to full face turn to the right, linger, a quick glance ahead, head whip to the right for much longer than necessary. Stop it. Get in the habit of not looking at your passenger. The passenger is not going anywhere that you're not going. The passenger is the uber captured audience. If you really need to interpret how your pasenger feels about what you just said, listen to the tone of the response, or the silence of the non-response, stay attuned just as if you were talking on the phone (different post, the whole phone and driving thing), but keep your eyes on the road.

It's a little thing, it takes just a tiny bit of practice, but it will make such a huge difference in how you drive, and how much more in control you'll feel. Your passenger will not mind, they may notice but it will probably not register with them to a great degree, and if they do notice -- "You never look at me when I talk to you..." -- your response can be whatever you want, but can then include something about "...avoiding eye contact to avoid (insert word here, i.e., death, dismemberment, human missle launch, looking at the weird thing growing on your lip, etc.) I'll avoid the whole accelerated mass equation thing here and go right to this: at 60 mph the distance covered in the span of a quick glance is considerable, and fraught with danger, and things would be just so much nicer for all of us if we'll all stop looking at our passenger (those with kids in the back, this is another universe; we'll visit your situation in the future).

The 13 second rule.
Dude cuts you off; young hot chick comes up your ass at warp speed and stays so close you can see just how much eye makeup she has wasted on herself; car ahead slams on the brakes to avoid hitting a butterfly; as you try to pass a slower car, the other driver finds the gas pedal...over, and over, and over...

And the rage begins. It comes after maybe a microsecond or two of disbelief -- "I can't believe what that asshole just did!" -- and, dedending on your personal 'What the fuck else can happen to me today?' sacle, you might attempt to find to send your own personal message to the other driver who turned you into a raving lunatic. Perhaps you want to convey something via sign language.

Perhaps you want to convey something at an amplified volume, using lung capacity that you reserve for such times as this. Your focus is now on defending your...um, what? Well, you're not going to let that asshole besmirch your...what? Pride? Vanity? Your professional driving prowess?

Please. Let's just put this in perspective for, oh, the rest of our lives, okay? Yeah, well, do it anyway, to wit: give yourself 13 seconds, tops, to be angry, swear, out loud or in your head, share a few expletives with whoever happens to be in earshot, outside and inside the car, and then, 13 seconds later, done.

Be done because your life, the energy of your existence, your focus, it's all too important to be dilluted by the energy of someone that you will not see again, or, if it's like a commute thing where you might see them at least once or twice a week, you still won't know them, you don't want to know them, you'll never really have any interaction with them and, shit, you have so much other stuff to deal with that this boob/twit/sonofabitch should not register on your life radar for more than 13 seconds.

For those with an interest in Eastern/Asian subjects, you might have gleened the Buddhist underpinnings here, but regardless, this is a very practical perspective on 'those other drivers'. Think you can't let that anger go, let your astonishment, that sense of being trespassed upon (it is your lane right now, afterall) blow away like the unimportant dust that it is? Bullshit. 13 seconds go by, get your mind back on what your were thinging just before Mr. Rude did his thing (notice the absence of "did his thing TO YOU"). Do not give a complete stranger an entitlement to your life. 13 seconds go by, then think about your kids; your horse; your dog; your job (man, are you that desperate? get a hobby); your hobby; the stock market; the babe you met last night; the meal you'll have tonight.

I'm not saying you shouldn't GET angry, maybe lecture your kids, your teens; about just how stupid that other driver is and why, not that I'm saying you'll can manage to do this every time, because I sure can't, but the more you try, the easier it becomes, and the more sense it will begin to make. Recognize it, let the expletive explode from you, then get back to your own life. 13 seconds is still way too long to put yourself in a funky state because of another dope, but it's better than keeping that psychic bile bottled up inside, where it might explode at some other, unfortunate time.

Last: every state in this big 'ol Union has a far left lane for passing and faster cars, and the lanes to its right are for the not so fast. This polite, understated observation is presented without embellishment in the hopes that the underlying message (it's correct, good and safe to move over to let others pass) will be accepted and implemented by, oh, everyone.

Be safe; don't look at me; your 13 seconds are up, so please resume being yourself.